So, you’ve selected the best dating platform and profile photos, and written your profile. The next stage is to get searching. Regardless of the site format, the idea is the same – browse, read and if they catch your attention, send them a message. The first message is very important. So how do you get it right?

Your first message should be quite straight forward, provided you have taken the time to read your potential partner’s profile first. This will provide you with inspiration for things to mention in your first message.

‘You’re into mountain biking? I use the local trails regularly. What’s your favourite trail around here?’

Within your initial message, you will want to talk about things you have read on their profile. You can choose to mention something you’ve seen in their photos, or read in their profile text. It’s obvious now why your selection of profile photos was so important. A good selection of pictures will offer lots of conversation starters.

Finally, don’t be coy. Being timid and online dating don’t go together. You should remember that everyone signed up to the dating app or website is in the same boat, and looking for a relationship. As such, any message that arrives in their inbox, and any flirtation, is welcome.

Your Initial Message: Do

  • Read their profile properly first
  • Be genuine
  • Show creativity
  • Be honesty
  • Bite the bullet and send a message

Your Initial Message: Don’t

  • Start off with a short, unimaginative message like ‘Hi’ or ‘Hello’
  • Ask questions that you would find answers to on their profile
  • Tell fibs
  • Be coy